Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. The Attraction Doctor. Sometimes dating and relationship advice can conflict. For example, some advice suggests that people should "play hard to get" in order to increase attraction and desire. Other advice suggests we should be more direct and straightforward, improving trust and liking. I began to address this very topic in a previous article, where I reviewed research that showed playing hard to get does indeed work.
As someone who wasted too much of my early twenties deliberating when to text back guys who didn't own a bed frame and routinely got "lost" in Starcraft , playing hard to get led me to a series of month-long, barely-committal appetizer relationships that left me constantly unsatisfied. Acting distant — the very thing promised to attract only the most persistent of partners, only led me to date men who could not care less about me. Friends: "playing hard to get" is a scam. My friend just sent me this screenshot and this is every dude you dated in your twenties pic.
You will probably have heard this classic piece of dating advice thousands of times: Play hard to get. It's a common belief that acting aloof and unavailable will drive someone crazy, and right into your arms. If you're looking to attract men, this course of action is considered particularly effective. But if scientific research is anything to go by, it's nonsense.