How do I know if I am gay or lesbian? Sexual identity and orientation is something which can change over time Written by SpunOut View this authors Twitter page and posted in life Share this article - Many people are brought up to believe that everyone is sexually attracted to the opposite gender. Loads of people are attracted to the same gender, or more than one gender, and this is absolutely fine and normal. Gay is the word used to describe someone who is only attracted to the same gender. It can be used to describe both men and women, but sometimes gay women are also referred to as lesbians.