Gerbil inside vagina

Has anybody ever stuffed a gerbil up his ass? Some newer readers might've missed this column when it originally appeared—some of you who were still in grade school, diapers, or amniotic sacs back in —so I'm rerunning it now because I still get questions about "gerbiling" on a daily basis. QWe were having a little office debate about "gerbiling. Do all gay men do this? Does Richard Gere?

In most instances, it involves a tube up the ass, followed by a gerbil up that tube. One might lure the gerbil up the tube with a piece of cheese, or, inversely, light a flame under the funnel to send the gerbil scurrying. I have seen more than few suggestions that drugs for the gerbil might also be helpful. For men, the burrowing of the gerbil stimulates the prostate gland, which can provoke spontaneous ejaculation. For women, there are options on where the gerbil can be introduced thanks to one porn video site, I can confirm this. But whatever the variants, the equipment at its most basic is: Tube.

Who would have thought Gere himself would come out of it looking so enlightened? And while other rumors usually jump around from celebrity to celebrity the way the rumor about Prince getting his ribs removed to suck his own dick eventually became a rumor about Marilyn Manson instead , this particular tale is only ever related to one guy: Richard Gere. The story goes like this: Richard Gere once got a gerbil stuck up his ass and then had to go to the ER to get it removed. Yet this single-sentence narrative has somehow endured the test of time for decades, like some ancient folklore passed down from generation to generation. Why has this story been so durable?

Do all gay men do this? Does Richard Gere? Does the animal get shoved up the anus with a toilet-paper roll only to suffocate seconds later?